Perhaps one of the commonly used methods in achieving a ‘balance’ when in doubt, is to use the ‘needs versus wants’ approach, in which significant necessities are weighed against current desires. Needs are ubiquitous and ever-present; we try to satisfy them all the time, whether they be generally, socially recognized needs or personal, individual ones. We try to satisfy the need for achievement, or the need for acceptance. Some needs are never satisfied, and they become obsessions, like the need for attention, popularity, or a sense of belonging. Some unsatisfied needs eventually become layers of insecurity reinforcing a façade to hide those very needs. Yet, whatever they be, and however they may occupy the mind, fuel our actions, move our spirits, our needs will always be there, as will be our actions to fulfill them- and thus, the means and ends are inseparable. We will always be motivated to satisfy a certain need.
H. Maslow (a certain psychologist prominently mentioned in Management) categorizes needs in a hierarchy. According to this theory, at the bottom of the pyramid of needs are the primal, human survival needs (love, unfortunately isn’t a basic need ;): food, sleep, water. As a certain level of needs is satisfied, a new category becomes dominant which never before was. A person who has had all his physiological needs fulfilled would not feel an urge to satisfy his physiological needs anymore, as urgently as his ‘safety’ needs now. And so the needs change as they are satisfied.
However, students analyze this theory and find flaws in it- a fasting monk does not feel compelled to satisfy his hunger pangs (physiological), but is more concerned about his ‘self-actualization’ needs- his spirituality, his higher calling. A rich, prosperous man, acclaimed and recognized, may not feel as compelled to satisfy his need for sleep as his need for success. A mother is willing to risk her health for her family, denying her physiological needs for her family. It’s my contention that needs are what we choose to see as important, and hence our needs reflect on ourselves.
What I mean is, what you need is indicative of what you are made of.
Looking at my contemporaries, I realize our needs are easily identifiable. Friendship, acceptance, achievement, excellence, pleasure, relevance. The best results, the best university education, the most number of friends, the best projected image, the best jokes, the most influential leadership, the biggest possessions. If one stops to think to himself/herself, “What truly occupies my mind, my time and my passion?” one would be able to identify his/her most prominent needs (and very likely, realize his/her maturity of thought too). Yet, I wonder, have we lost the ability to choose our needs, and determine what’s truly best for ourselves?
If needs reflect what we are made of, why do we bury our faces in the superficial needs, that fade as the morning vapor and sway like grass in the wind? Ah, certain needs are rightfully important- we need to excel to be a positive influence in the environment, we need to eat to continue living, but just as a man who craves only for sexual satisfaction and is seen as a pervert, have we lost sense of our other needs, being too focused on one or two which are, in actuality, trivial, in the bigger scheme of things? Have we lost our need to find our reasons for existence, our relevance in the world of 6 billion, our moral compass?
Once I asked a group of adolescent guys, what would they do if they were given the liberty to do anything, for as long a time as they wanted, without the guilt of knowing that there would be other ‘important’ things to do. Most answered computer games or watching television. I then asked them, whether they would like a life of computer games and television, 5, 10, 15 years down the road, and silence permeated the air. 5, 10 ,15 years down the road, they knew they would be adults, possibly fathers, instrumental in making changes, being ‘in charge’ and doing ‘the big things’. I’m a strong advocate of letting one’s hair down and seizing every opportunity to outdo ones self, but how we are like this sometimes! We are obsessed with our little university bubbles, the hottest news, the newest hype, our guilty pleasures- at the expense of the road ahead, in the name of present satisfaction.
Perhaps a little reflection on our ‘higher needs’ is in order. Perhaps we should be conscious about the more abstract issues in life, instead of running away from them just because they aren’t palpable- because the options are clear…and we decide what we need.
Relevance in this lifetime, or superficial attention?
Purpose in life, or aimless living?
Are we ambitious realists, or ignorant idealists?
-A nervous owl (and me) in Lake Gardens
-A nervous owl (and me) in Lake Gardens
And so it's been 16 years of blessing.
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Pace is something that differs from one individual to another, whereby its subjective nature makes one man's "swiftness" another man's "slowness", or vice versa. It has dawned upon me: where does one apply the right amount of 'pace' in varied situations- from the choice of majors in a course, to realising an old dream, to working towards a big project, to taking a jog in the evening?
